Post by The David on Jan 30, 2009 19:42:09 GMT -8
Basics
Name?
The David Livingston
Sex?
No thanks, I’m British.
Sexual Orientation?
Hetero like woaah. No ... it’s more of a WOOOAAAAAAH. And not an overcompensating WOOOAAAAAAAH, either, it’s more of an extremely manly, loves tugging on women’s hair and spanking their butts kind of WOOOOAAAAH. Like a huge dog bark. From a male dog. And not a gay male dog.
Seeking?
What do you think? Women of course. And no, I didn’t mean to write the singular of that word. There are several spaces to be filled ... in more ways than one.
For?
Well, I need one for cleaning my dishes; one for raising my childer; one for housework miscellany; and all for good times. Sometimes, all at once.
About me
Describe your best qualities
My absolute best quality is that I’m extremely, extremely, extremely modest. Also, I’m awesome in more ways than you can imagine. In fact, put Jackie Chan, Bob Marley, Ghandi, Santa, John Clease, Lestat, and Christian Bale together and you have an idea of what it’s like to be me on a bad day. I’m also very good at knitting.
Describe your worst faults
Erm ... tough one! Hmmm ... I guess ... I care too much?
List some of your hobbies
Dealing drugs, mugging old women, pimping, killing, stealing people’s homes, attacking newbies, manipulation, deceit, arrogance (also, add that to my qualities), being generally funny, baking cakes, giving people black blood who don’t want it, annoying people, boiling small kittens alive, dancing on dead Nekos (DIE NEKO DIE DIE DIE!!), running around in fig-leafs, and inspiring people with my awesomnimity (and creating new words).
If you could take three things to a desert island, they would be...
A mirror, a ho, and a Lucius’ dead body.
About my perfect partner
Looks
MUST BE A WOMAN. No tricksies, no pretendsies, and no pre OR post-opsies allowed. Oh, and none of them ones with both parts. That’s just odd. Other than that, I don’t much care. Can you cook and do you put out on a first date? Then I’m a happy man.
Personality
* Must be okay with the fact that I have my own life, such as hanging out with my boys (and girls, yeah, I have girls in my gang, and some of them are whores, so deal with it woman! No I don’t know what time I’ll be back! No! Yes I know I need to go and find a job in the morning! Yes! I know! Yes! Actually, screw you and just get out!).
*Must be submissive, do what ever I say type of woman.
* Must be okay with the fact that I never want to meet any of you friends or family EVER, or listen to anything involving your life that might cause you to cry, whine, or complain in any shape or form.
* Must be silent ... a lot.
* Must be able to put up with my bouts of insanity, such as the time when I thought I saw the Stay Puff man, and ended up eating my curtains with a curly party straw.
* Must enjoy Chinese. Oh, and Chinese food.
All applicants please apply in writing to “Lord of The Universe“.
No, that’s it. It’ll find it’s way to me, the postal service all know who I am.
Oh, and bring your own condoms when you show up!
*Waits*
Name?
The David Livingston
Sex?
No thanks, I’m British.
Sexual Orientation?
Hetero like woaah. No ... it’s more of a WOOOAAAAAAH. And not an overcompensating WOOOAAAAAAAH, either, it’s more of an extremely manly, loves tugging on women’s hair and spanking their butts kind of WOOOOAAAAH. Like a huge dog bark. From a male dog. And not a gay male dog.
Seeking?
What do you think? Women of course. And no, I didn’t mean to write the singular of that word. There are several spaces to be filled ... in more ways than one.
For?
Well, I need one for cleaning my dishes; one for raising my childer; one for housework miscellany; and all for good times. Sometimes, all at once.
About me
Describe your best qualities
My absolute best quality is that I’m extremely, extremely, extremely modest. Also, I’m awesome in more ways than you can imagine. In fact, put Jackie Chan, Bob Marley, Ghandi, Santa, John Clease, Lestat, and Christian Bale together and you have an idea of what it’s like to be me on a bad day. I’m also very good at knitting.
Describe your worst faults
Erm ... tough one! Hmmm ... I guess ... I care too much?
List some of your hobbies
Dealing drugs, mugging old women, pimping, killing, stealing people’s homes, attacking newbies, manipulation, deceit, arrogance (also, add that to my qualities), being generally funny, baking cakes, giving people black blood who don’t want it, annoying people, boiling small kittens alive, dancing on dead Nekos (DIE NEKO DIE DIE DIE!!), running around in fig-leafs, and inspiring people with my awesomnimity (and creating new words).
If you could take three things to a desert island, they would be...
A mirror, a ho, and a Lucius’ dead body.
About my perfect partner
Looks
MUST BE A WOMAN. No tricksies, no pretendsies, and no pre OR post-opsies allowed. Oh, and none of them ones with both parts. That’s just odd. Other than that, I don’t much care. Can you cook and do you put out on a first date? Then I’m a happy man.
Personality
* Must be okay with the fact that I have my own life, such as hanging out with my boys (and girls, yeah, I have girls in my gang, and some of them are whores, so deal with it woman! No I don’t know what time I’ll be back! No! Yes I know I need to go and find a job in the morning! Yes! I know! Yes! Actually, screw you and just get out!).
*Must be submissive, do what ever I say type of woman.
* Must be okay with the fact that I never want to meet any of you friends or family EVER, or listen to anything involving your life that might cause you to cry, whine, or complain in any shape or form.
* Must be silent ... a lot.
* Must be able to put up with my bouts of insanity, such as the time when I thought I saw the Stay Puff man, and ended up eating my curtains with a curly party straw.
* Must enjoy Chinese. Oh, and Chinese food.
All applicants please apply in writing to “Lord of The Universe“.
No, that’s it. It’ll find it’s way to me, the postal service all know who I am.
Oh, and bring your own condoms when you show up!
*Waits*