Post by Bambi on May 25, 2009 12:31:30 GMT -8
Oh to be in England where the green grass grows.
If you knew me you’d know what I was getting at with the above quote.. I’m talking about being home sick. I’ve yet to meet a single ‘pire who was borne and raised in RavenBlack city.. then again so few of our kind were borne vampire. In fact I don’t believe I’ve ever met a ‘pure blood’; a popular but inaccurate term I agree, but one we can all understand, as most of this city’s inhabitants are only too willing to speak of their turning. But I digress, the feeling of being home sick is a very real one and is something that can strike us all to a degree.
So what is there to miss? This city provides us with all we need to survive, from fresh food to entertainment and even jobs. Money is plentiful, as is sex and companionship. We can form family units and join clans of likeminded vampires. You may find yourself sharing a transit journey with a werewolf and a tree spirit, so it’s not like unlife here isn’t varied, and yet.. there will always be those nagging, unanswered questions deep in the back of your mind.
Maybe you miss your own bed and that warm, comforting scent of your mother’s embrace. Maybe, as you wander through your vast manor, paid for with the coins you stole or embezzled, you miss the little village you grew up in. Or your childhood friends; those who got older and had children of their own and who now lie long dead in forgotten graves. Could it be that you miss your own birth children? A childe that you embrace or adopt into your family cannot replace one who grew inside your womb or who held your hand and called you daddy. Do you miss the simple pleasure of lying in a field and watching the sunrise whilst the birds, common starlings and thrushes, sing in the new day? There is so much that we used to do as mortals that now seems obsolete but does that mean we shouldn’t miss them?
For all I know, you could read this and laugh, tell yourself that you don’t miss a thing about your old life and that the one you have now is all you’ve ever wanted. And that could be true, I’m not saying that everyone misses who they once were, I’m just asking that you think about this before scoffing at my article.
So do I miss my old life? Not all of it, no.. but there are things that do give me pause for thought. For example, it does bother me that I’m going to outlive everyone I grew up with by more then just a few years.. fingers crossed. I find it hard to think about my best friend at school and what he’s doing now. And I miss playing football on a Sunday afternoon. Going home covered in mud and grass stains to my poor mum, who would shake her head and send me to go get changed before my tea got cold. I even miss the uncomfortable silence whenever the gang I was in were plotting something and I walked into the room. It’s silly little things like that that creep into my mind in the early mornings as I’m going to bed.. the “I wonder..” thoughts that only fade when unconsciousness takes over.
The hardest part of being a vampire, for me, is that I have to live, so to speak, with the knowledge that my parents will never stop looking for me, never stop wondering what happened to their little boy with his cheeky grin and blonde locks.. yea I’m a natural blonde.. explains a lot right? And I can’t go home.. can’t even think how to explain why I’ll never see them again in a phone call or a letter. What would you say to your parents if you had the chance? How would you take away years of worry and hurt?
I think, even if I survive to be a thousand, I’ll always have these thoughts because our pasts are what shape our futures, for the better or worse. And my mum and dad, no matter how much we argued in the months preceding my final trip to this city and how much I rebelled and pushed them away, well they will always be my parents and I’ll always be their son.. God help them. ;D
If you knew me you’d know what I was getting at with the above quote.. I’m talking about being home sick. I’ve yet to meet a single ‘pire who was borne and raised in RavenBlack city.. then again so few of our kind were borne vampire. In fact I don’t believe I’ve ever met a ‘pure blood’; a popular but inaccurate term I agree, but one we can all understand, as most of this city’s inhabitants are only too willing to speak of their turning. But I digress, the feeling of being home sick is a very real one and is something that can strike us all to a degree.
So what is there to miss? This city provides us with all we need to survive, from fresh food to entertainment and even jobs. Money is plentiful, as is sex and companionship. We can form family units and join clans of likeminded vampires. You may find yourself sharing a transit journey with a werewolf and a tree spirit, so it’s not like unlife here isn’t varied, and yet.. there will always be those nagging, unanswered questions deep in the back of your mind.
Maybe you miss your own bed and that warm, comforting scent of your mother’s embrace. Maybe, as you wander through your vast manor, paid for with the coins you stole or embezzled, you miss the little village you grew up in. Or your childhood friends; those who got older and had children of their own and who now lie long dead in forgotten graves. Could it be that you miss your own birth children? A childe that you embrace or adopt into your family cannot replace one who grew inside your womb or who held your hand and called you daddy. Do you miss the simple pleasure of lying in a field and watching the sunrise whilst the birds, common starlings and thrushes, sing in the new day? There is so much that we used to do as mortals that now seems obsolete but does that mean we shouldn’t miss them?
For all I know, you could read this and laugh, tell yourself that you don’t miss a thing about your old life and that the one you have now is all you’ve ever wanted. And that could be true, I’m not saying that everyone misses who they once were, I’m just asking that you think about this before scoffing at my article.
So do I miss my old life? Not all of it, no.. but there are things that do give me pause for thought. For example, it does bother me that I’m going to outlive everyone I grew up with by more then just a few years.. fingers crossed. I find it hard to think about my best friend at school and what he’s doing now. And I miss playing football on a Sunday afternoon. Going home covered in mud and grass stains to my poor mum, who would shake her head and send me to go get changed before my tea got cold. I even miss the uncomfortable silence whenever the gang I was in were plotting something and I walked into the room. It’s silly little things like that that creep into my mind in the early mornings as I’m going to bed.. the “I wonder..” thoughts that only fade when unconsciousness takes over.
The hardest part of being a vampire, for me, is that I have to live, so to speak, with the knowledge that my parents will never stop looking for me, never stop wondering what happened to their little boy with his cheeky grin and blonde locks.. yea I’m a natural blonde.. explains a lot right? And I can’t go home.. can’t even think how to explain why I’ll never see them again in a phone call or a letter. What would you say to your parents if you had the chance? How would you take away years of worry and hurt?
I think, even if I survive to be a thousand, I’ll always have these thoughts because our pasts are what shape our futures, for the better or worse. And my mum and dad, no matter how much we argued in the months preceding my final trip to this city and how much I rebelled and pushed them away, well they will always be my parents and I’ll always be their son.. God help them. ;D
