Loose Knit Bonds

[Damia]

Once more, I take a moment from my travels to speak on a subject I am sure has been aired to death. And has so many different inputs to be given, that mine will simply be a tired repeat perhaps. But this eve, a conversation overheard reminded me of my thoughts on this.

To some, sirings, companionship's, blood siblings, any bond able to be conceived, are easy to make and easier to get rid of. In the human world, I could understand this easier I think because they have such short lives that flitting to and fro from loved ones, is what fills the time between birth and death.

Perhaps tis once more simply my singular perceptions, and yes I know we all change as we age in immortal years, mentally even if not physically. By it still seems that the city has a high rate of severances of all sorts, more then it should to my eyes.

It seems everyone is so ready to bond, so easily pushed into such flings and fillings of time, that they do not look into what a blood bond implies. For blood is forever. Not a minute, not a week, but something beyond that. Yes it is quite easy to grab enough money, grab said other you want to connect to and run down as if the Bonding halls were a Las vegas marriage market. But then, when the problems arise, issue after issue, even the darker ones, the doors of the severance hall are just as busy.

Now I am not one to say that you should stay with a loved one who cheats, but to my mind, you were with said companion longer then a few weeks, you might have seen it coming, or even known beforehand, perhaps this is not the one for me. Nor would I say that keeping a childre who has perhaps caused a family split down, but once more is the question not valid that something should have been spotted before.

Though I will not say I have not had my own hasty decisions, for that would be hypocritical to cast stones from glass houses. But even with perhaps the truly one hasty decision I did do, I did not immediately run to the severance hall to get rid of that one, for that to me is a disrespect of the bond I myself consented to. For I hold blood bonds seriously. I considered the issue, carefully, and for a good few months before I did anything, not wanting to move quickly as it would affect more then myself.

I know to many the ease of all bonds made perhaps lessens the impact that they are for better or for worse (in all cases), but I simply do not understand this I suppose.

For to me, being an immortal that needs blood to feed on, it is a sacred vow to share your blood with another whether siring or companionship. Should not these bonds be thought out then? Now many do not do this constantly, but I do see a few and wonder if they mistake blood bonds for common Human practices of friendship and "Bed Buddies" instead of the solemn vows they should be. Not to be made in haste, but to be thought over and decided on. For when you bring that individual into your family circle no matter the relation, the impact, the issues and all that might occur, to my mind should be before the ceremony itself, and not three weeks later when it happens and surprises for some reason all those involved.

Regardless, I hope my rambles made sense, are perhaps even a bit special despite the many discussions this topic has come up in.

[rel]

When Ravenblack city created a new fantasitcal way for us vampies to sever our sires, it essentially created an ability that when I was turned was unheard of. Oooooold news. I mean, sure...you could leave clans, 'join up' with another coven you may bond with between you and the head of that line, but whomever turned you...you were pretty much stuck with. Then succor scrolls! Wheeee! Now you can pop over to your sire or companion in a flash! Our unlives changed again. So you now see movement, depending on who is deemed the hot vampire of the evening, or who is trying to create a strong line. Good for them.

I know hold onto things very tightly. It's a personality trait that never left me after my turning. I think it may have something to do with being adopted when human. Made being sired a very important thing for me. True, she wasn't familial in any regard as I was in love with her, but the event was so intimate for me that I've held onto it. She's a crappy sire *snorts* Hell, she's just a shadow who wanders in the city, but she's mine.

I think, as I've said before, it's what has kept me from siring even though there have been a few over my immortal years that I felt bonded too. I always think that it would be forever...for me...but may just be fleeting for them. I don't know if I could emotionally deal with that. Perhaps one day it will be a hang up that I'll be able to let go...

[Penny Shadowlight]

My sire is the one who turned me. Its been more then a year now and I don't think I could ever not be a Shadowlight. It might be that my family and my clan are closely related, but I couldn't imagine asking for a different sire. Doncey took the time to teach me, took pride in me when I had no powers. I think him falling into shadows would break my heart, but I'd stay his childe even if it happened.

When it comes to bindings and weddings this confuses me. I've never been bound. I've attended one wedding, my sisters, and her bonding is going strong. But then I read here about people saying we are vampires, we have no human morals. And binding to a mate forever seems very much like a human act. Now to me it seems like having someone forever would be a comfort. But reading of the bindings/unbindings here makes me think its just not possible. So, I'm just going to stay confused.

I also wanted to say that people make it seem like the younger pyers like me are why the halls are so active, but I don't think its the case. Or at least I hope not.

[Jett]

Sires... I don't know the woman who turned me. I haven't gotten a 'sire' since arriving at this place and I ain't sure I'll adopt one any time soon. I didn't want my first one, so why would I seek out a second? We'll see, in time. I don't know though.

What I do know? The way you folks treat marriage, or 'partner bindings' as you seem to call them, is just plain odd. I mean, we ain't facing our mortality. We have forever. What's a year, or two years? It's more like a day in comparison to humans. Like a human year is 7 to a dog. Still I've noticed in my 2, or 3 weeks of being in this town that you're cheating/moving on/arguing/whatever within a month or two. You guys divorce... or sever... like rabbits mate. I mean, I'm still faithful to my wife, even though I haven't spoken to her since I was turned in the 80s. She's ill now, and probably won't be around much longer. I'm not sure what I'll do then, but still. If I can be faithful to a wife I'd probably kill if I spoke to her, how come the majority of you guys can't last more than a few months without tearing each other's throats out, literally or metaphorically? I don't take 'because we're vampires' as an answer, either.

[SinisterGrin:]

Because we're sluts?

[rel]

Nov 25, 2009 11:44:18 GMT -8 Jett said:

The way you folks treat marriage, or 'partner bindings' as you seem to call them, is just plain odd. I mean, we ain't facing our mortality. We have forever. What's a year, or two years? It's more like a day in comparison to humans. Like a human year is 7 to a dog. Still I've noticed in my 2, or 3 weeks of being in this town that you're cheating/moving on/arguing/whatever within a month or two. You guys divorce... or sever... like rabbits mate. I mean, I'm still faithful to my wife, even though I haven't spoken to her since I was turned in the 80s. She's ill now, and probably won't be around much longer. I'm not sure what I'll do then, but still. If I can be faithful to a wife I'd probably kill if I spoke to her, how come the majority of you guys can't last more than a few months without tearing each other's throats out, literally or metaphorically? I don't take 'because we're vampires' as an answer, either.

You guys...that's funny

[Jett]

That works. I guess.

[Beezil]

I agree so much with you, Damia. Binding is a ritual, and for a good reason. It should be sacred. I have been in this city for just over 6 years now... and I've had 4 different sires. I would like to say that each one has and will always have a special place in my heart. I never severed from anyone without great thought, and those that severed me had their own reasons, I suppose. I have been with Lily for a long time, and the brief time I was severed from her was hell for me. I ached constantly, I felt as if something had been ripped from my insides... and it didn't cease until I was back with her again. I will always be grateful for her.

As far as binding to a partner goes, well I see that as something just as sacred. Taking a partner is such a personal decision, so I can understand why some might regret theirs. But, I think too that if you are going to take a partner, you should be very careful about it and spend a lot of time making that decision. I have just recently bound to my partner, Malkavian, and I wouldn't change that for the world. I can't think of any reason that would make me sever my bond with him, ever. I have known him for years, and I trust him with my heart and soul. I think that is how it should be for all of us, but alas, that is not possible I suppose.

I have only been bound once in my time here, and I hope that is how it will stay.

[Samantha Dawn]

I have been bound more than twice but ultimately one I bound to as his childe first, then almost two years ago as his bound partner. In that time I can say I have seen fireworks, catacombs, unquenchable passion, fear, pain, heartbreak, elation and some of the most desolate lonely moments imaginable.

I was scared out of my immortal chassis walking into that hall in front of crowd I knew not one from the other. I look back and am honest in saying I had no idea at the time just what the future would hold. Had I known, I would have respected the halls far more to begin with. Any regrets other than that? No.

I believe in the bond that will survive zeroing, war, public favor and outcast. One that will have you together drinking and indulging without care or watching the shadows as you stand alone waiting for your beloved to rise from chosen rest. There are many unique examples to draw from in this city to aspire to if that is your particular focus for partnership or what not. In the end it is individual preference. Some can’t imagine a month with one partner let alone a year or eternity. I, however, couldn’t imagine anything less.

[Damia]

And that I think is my point. For the conversation I overheard, which I just now realized I forgot to input was a joking one, something to the effect of binding for one day and severing the next, simply to get a reaction. Yet if that is a joke, simple enough to be uttered, then can the truth of that not be far behind?

For myself I have only had twos sires, Ysolla for two years, who faded with her companion, and Arsanga, still to this day. Even companion wise I have had perhaps three, no shorter then one year. And then I look around at some, and they have had no less then six or more sires, and about the same in companions, in a shorter time period. Which is their choice of course, but at the same time, a few details of this severance and that severance. Well it leads one to wonder if such bonds are still held important.

And I do not believe it is just young ones, for I have seen ones who have resided in the city for a few years do the same, I think tis not an age deal, it is more of a thinking one. For to my eyes, many of these severances do not come as a surprise to those in the city, instead it is simply "Well they should have known this would happen" which then says to me, that the ones binding did not perhaps take a closer look at what they were taking on, family and love wise.

Tis simply another wish of mine that many would think before they jump into a binding of any sort, and see what issues might pop up. Yes love in all forms is said to be blind but being immortal, with such importance as blood is to one and all here, can that excuse be used as often?

[Bambi]

Nov 25, 2009 11:48:56 GMT -8 SinisterGrin: said:

Because we're sluts?

We are? This is news to me..

;D

Let's see, three sires and three bound partner's in three years. I don't fink that's too bad considering this is me I'm talking about. First sire turned me and kinda left me to me own devices, second sire forced me to be 'is childe wiv threats to zero me childer and third sire wos just a perfect match fer me, but it never lasted due to a difference of opinon. As fer partner's, first one wos a drunken mistake that actually would've lasted if 'e 'adn't picked 'is new family over me despite me taking a beating and loosing mine fer 'im. Lesson learned there. Second turned out to be one sided and ended once I realised 'e wosn't in love wiv me and wos seeing someone else and third time wos as a favour, no love involved there at all.. hell we weren't even friends.

But I do take me bindings seriously which is why ya won't see me name in a certain section of this publication all too often.

[Jean DeVenn]

What I see here is a chasm between those who came to the city before Ravenblack created the Halls of Binding and Severance, and those who came later and treated these buildings as if they had always been there.

To most of the latter, the endless social whirl of bindings and severings is merely a way of passing time with a chosen friend (or friends) of the moment. But I see in most older vampires a more stable mode of behaviour. For them, sires and childer are a long term commitment.

I suspect I'm a fairly typical example of the older-type vampires. I never knew the Sire who turned me; he walked into the sun shortly after I arrived in the city. It was a very long time later (and long after the Halls were pulled from the bones of the earth by Lord Ravenblack) that I agreed to become the childer of Lucius. Despite the problems this association has occasionally caused, I believe that binding to a Sire is not something that should be shed at the first sign of trouble. People are quite capable of making their opinions of me based on me, not my bloodline. I have had two companions, both for extended periods of time. The first was torn asunder by city politics, but probably would have failed anyway. The second companion I love to this day, although we see too little of each other. I have two childer, and have had both for several years. They are like night and day, and I love them both equally.

And that is the sum of my bindings in seven years. I suspect many of the youngsters could match that in seven months. But I know which ties would run deeper. The flame which burns bright lasts but a moment, while the banked glowing embers of a well-made fire will last an age.