Post by Dr. Nash Fang on Sept 18, 2008 20:26:46 GMT -8
Dear Dr. Fang,
I have found myself deeply obsessed with my blood. I used to be the runty one of the family and now .. I salivate whenever I see humans.. and I MUST drain each and every one I see.
Its beginning to take a told on my relationships. I keep comparing my blood intake to everyone elses.
How can I stop this obsession?
Overbleeder
Dear Overbleeder:
It is good that you have grown out of being the runty one. That’s the one that usually gets killed. Wait… that’s pigs. Wrong movie.
Draining each and every human you spot is certainly not a problem, unless of course you cannot differentiate run-of-the-mill humans from hunters. Then, you stand to lose quite a bit of your hard earned blood to their pesky crossbows.
However, comparing your blood to everyone else’s can make you obsessed indeed. You might even become like Boomer and don the ever-so-lovely pink cloak to save each precious drop.
My advice to you is to forget the tally. Use all your energy in hunting down humans; forget that you’d ever heard of the power of second-sight. By reducing your family and friends to mere numbers, you are becoming removed from them. They may decide to retaliate with that ultimate icon of slenderizing, the Holy Water Vial. The next time you feel tempted to compare just how much more blood you have than your BFF does, simply whisper this mantra: “Humans are tastier than Holy Water,” and run off and bite more.
Sincerely,
Dr. Nash Fang
I have found myself deeply obsessed with my blood. I used to be the runty one of the family and now .. I salivate whenever I see humans.. and I MUST drain each and every one I see.
Its beginning to take a told on my relationships. I keep comparing my blood intake to everyone elses.
How can I stop this obsession?
Overbleeder
Dear Overbleeder:
It is good that you have grown out of being the runty one. That’s the one that usually gets killed. Wait… that’s pigs. Wrong movie.
Draining each and every human you spot is certainly not a problem, unless of course you cannot differentiate run-of-the-mill humans from hunters. Then, you stand to lose quite a bit of your hard earned blood to their pesky crossbows.
However, comparing your blood to everyone else’s can make you obsessed indeed. You might even become like Boomer and don the ever-so-lovely pink cloak to save each precious drop.
My advice to you is to forget the tally. Use all your energy in hunting down humans; forget that you’d ever heard of the power of second-sight. By reducing your family and friends to mere numbers, you are becoming removed from them. They may decide to retaliate with that ultimate icon of slenderizing, the Holy Water Vial. The next time you feel tempted to compare just how much more blood you have than your BFF does, simply whisper this mantra: “Humans are tastier than Holy Water,” and run off and bite more.
Sincerely,
Dr. Nash Fang
