Post by sade on Jul 3, 2009 15:32:37 GMT -8
[glow=red,2,300]AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
This month is simple Saturn has ruled your 6th House for two years, and just sucking the fun out of your day-to-day life (I could imagine sucking something out of you, a moan or three perhaps or your blood). Spend this month consciously playing mental checkers: Move forward, never backwards, and don't be afraid to double your power. Jump over your obstacles or perhaps right through them (oh yeah baby come through me)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Move up with in your clan by either being of service, Putting out or stabbing someone in the back (being of service for a bootie call might make you rise faster)
2) Become a prostitute, a seer, or a drunk.
3) Kill a noob
4) Ring a random phone number and have phone sex (probably bet not to ring 911 or 000 depending on what county you’re in)
PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
You will sometime during the next month end up in a Wax museum. Be it for a tour or just a kinky place to have sex. You will find a home away from home. Murderers, Zombies Princess Di you name it even Elvis. Accept this is now part of your make up. Oh by the way no smoking. But remember like wax fruit on humans tables don’t bite the statues they taste like wax (So says someone who has already tried I bet).
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Take a chance be it biting or on love there are few things better than either
2) If you chose love from the above list Romance is always good. Unless your idea of romance is hit them over the head with 2 X 4. Try candles ambiance is the answer (fuck ambiance and candles, unless it’s to drip hot wax on to them hmmm hot wax)
3) Be adventuress try the new synthetic blood take the pledge of none biting (hang on a sec lets go back one what’s wrong with a bit of 2 X 4, I have had a lot of good nights start out that way well as long as I was the one wielding it hehe)
4) Be nice to an enemy give them a flower
ARIES (March 21- April 19)
I have been having a lot of those lazy days I cant even walk to my coffin and stayed up during the day and have been captivated b daytime TV its an insidious plan I tell you. So for the 31 days of July you will be in your own soap opera. So watch out as in all TV soaps you will eventual and up having married your father , secretly kissed your mother on the lips danced the horizontal fandango with your sister or died and been bought back with someone’s else’s name and face good luck with that
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Laze around and do nothing
2) Get nakid with someone you have a crush on.(Yeah some of you call that courting I know)
3) Dress up as a gingerbread house (someone’s bound to want to eat you then not that your ugly far from it)
4) Take a night course at open college I have heard flower arranging is fun
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Darlin' Taurus, your world is about to become a horror story. Not only do i see death mayhem and destruction and a lot of blood it will all be within your pants starting mid-July you won’t have time to scratch little only flirt or screw around, so while you can get busy cause after that you’re screwed. The only way to get out from under is to take up a new superstition. For example, each time someone tries to stab you with an ice pick or stake or crossbow bolt, knock once on wood and then dump dog poop on their shoes (I have got some wood for you hehehe).
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Take swimming lessons
2) Get yourself to the local S&M underground party and get naughty (I know some of you would rather a M&M party and if you would prefer that just don’t stick them up your nose)
3) Try chocolate cause on everything you eat
4) No I mean it try chocolate on everything you eat
GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
Summer is here. It’s time to check over your inventory make a list of your needs and wants, take some time do a good job it while working on it expand it to encompass who or what is currently dragging you down, and keeping you burned, blistered(hmm holy water). On July 16 strike terror in them and smash them all. End of the month you will have a cash win fall so enjoy (you can buy me a beer or buy our Taurus friends some chocolate who knows you might get lucky)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Learn to use sign language (and no sticking two fingers up in the air is not the official sign language even if it does relay the right feelings)
2) Lear to dance like on those TV shows (even better learn to lap dance)
3) Be creative learn decoupage (fuck I hate the French fucking language croissant baguette fuck them)
4) Get sexed (no don’t go to a vet for a check up sheesh well unless they are cute
CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Cancerians you are tired do go find a warm bed does not have to be yours probably better to be a friend rather than an enemies and sleep. Over the past few months you have lost so much be it weapons or blood or innocents it’s still lost, some have lost faith in the City and in your selves. Don’t fear after the rest and the 16th you will be up to your normal tricks and capers. Planning the death of others and dancing on graves. The stars say the months ahead will finally let you be free of all the things that have dragged you down. Saturn is finally exiting on July 16 and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Wear funny coloured stripy toe socks to bed
2) Fill a hot water bottle with human blood and snuggle
3) Sex in public places is good (not by yourself dip shit that’s just sad)
4) Buy some one candy and exchange the chocolate for laxetts give the real chocolates to a Taurus I’m sure they will appreciate it you might get lucky (or just use a bit of 2 X 4 hahaha)
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Have you ever been stuck behind one of those Driver's Ed class cars never sure if you want to overtake or not or just too scared to. That’s how your month is going to turn out in second gear doing 20 miles an hour. Not only in your night to night things but everything romance (2 X 4 hehe) coins (ohh 2 X 4 hehe got to love its uses not only a sex toy but you can steal too) advancement in your clan or profession (oh baby let me say 2 X 4 again ahha) The only way out is to put your foot to the floor balls to the wall and make that drivers Ed kid shit, Leo, when you'll be forced to have patience fuck it kill them road rage rocks.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Wear a nappy to a war conference and ask someone to change you
2) Make a wish upon a star then take the wishing star fairy hostage till she gives it to you (what about the wish do we get that too)
3) Become a lecherous ohh to late
4) Learn to kiss better not hat horrid slobbery kissing where you trying to eat their faces well unless that’s what your trying to do (ok Hannibal get down)
VIRGO (August 23 - Sept. 22)
Kin Hubbard once said that "the only way to entertain some people is to listen to them." Whereas old mother Hubbard said “the cupboard was bare so rover gave her a bone of his own” ops did I say that. Just like old mother Hubbard your war chest and weapons cupboard are bare this month (hehe watch out for rover ok). Your first impulse should be steal bite steal (should i say 2 X 4 here do you think hehe) Never turn a deaf ear to an opportunity be it coins blood position sex, the one you knock back is the one you never get or so I have been told. Listen to gossip its surly to be juicy, so listen up, Virgo. With both ears ( or let them grab you by the ears ohh baby). It could mean a chocolate party with you know who.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Insure your ears pulling them might hurt without ears you can’t see as your hat will fall over your eyes
2) Go out and buy a new suit, outfit or handbag you know you want to.
3) Try a night in drag you never know you might like it (hmm tight panties ohh now your talking lace sighs stockings damn i need a cold shower)
4) Learn to juggle
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
You are in need of nourishment... not the meat-and-potatoes kind, but a real meal of blood glorious blood nothing quite like it to make me dance (hmm makes me hard in all the right places dontcha know ohh yes makes my teeth hard and fingernails hard fangs .......you dirty minded vamps did you think it was just Mr Floppy that becomes like a thing of steel with blood).So you’re looking a little peeky get out bite someone bite anyone just fucken bite.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Try boxers for a change (yes you girls too hmm nothing I like better than a girl in boxers hmm yum)
2) Yoga (enough said)
3) Lion taming I’m sure you know a few Leos that need a good mistress or master growllllll hehe
4) Volunteer work nothing makes a vampire feel better than volunteering at a blood bank (makes me all gooey inside thinking about it hehe)
SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
Um, hi. How you doing? Good I hope. I think it would be best to take a photo right now while you’re on top of the world, cause well July is just a shitty month for you. Well aside from all the sex you could want everything else will be crap. (oh yeah all that sex is either in jail I’m guessing it’s not really all the sex you desire haha or its wet dreams and sticky sheets oh wait that happens in jail too). Good news is that come August you will be the top dog in Jail and you will get all the sex you want( didn’t you just say that)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Buy a rubber inflatable ring (errr jail ouch)
2) If you’re a male write your name in the snow if you’re a female do it in Morse code and those guys with prostate issues you can use Morse code too dot dot dash dash
3) Buy a gun
4) Set fire to someone’s hair (no stupid not yours .........no not mine for fucks sake)
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Some Vampires the cloths make the vampire or vampiress others the vampiress or vampire makes the cloths. You are the later of the two types, you could make wearing hessian sacks look good. About the only think you cant pull off is one of those loud Hawaiian shirts that have scenes featuring surfboards, coconut trees and pineapples (yes I looked in your wardrobe and well it scared me) So i say to you go forth and get rid of those Hawaiian shirts and get the classics back on black or black purple you know the colours by now the hawt dark brooding ones. (no there is no fucken casual fucking Hawaiian shit vampire fucken day you pussy)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Dance like no ones watching
2) Drink like no one cares (you got that down already i see)
3) Make love to the one your with if the one you love does not want to know you (hehe 2 X 4 i tell you it works every time)
4) Lick yellow snow
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
This month you will be an emotional wreck and a physical one. Too much sex and to much moonshine will make you go weak at the knees. Especially if you have hijacked a truck full of chocolate and know a Taurus. About the only thing i can advise stock up the old fuel tank with blood and get lip balm It really helps really it does then you can be doing whatever it is your heart desires as long as you desire (note make sure its lip balm and not tiger balm this i can assure you off you will never see him or her again if you mix them up)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Go to the Ghetto and pick a fight with a chat vampire
2) Dial pizza hut for a pizza and eat the delivery guy or girl (ok people keep it clean)
3) Learn to sing like tiny Tim and use a ukulele its for serious music loves
4) run up to an enemy in the city and splash them with a vial of distilled water and pretend they are burning
Sade St. John (shadowsshade)
Ward of the Wolf Etain
A little T in my life is good
The Republic
Traveller
Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero pulsanda tellus[/glow]
This month is simple Saturn has ruled your 6th House for two years, and just sucking the fun out of your day-to-day life (I could imagine sucking something out of you, a moan or three perhaps or your blood). Spend this month consciously playing mental checkers: Move forward, never backwards, and don't be afraid to double your power. Jump over your obstacles or perhaps right through them (oh yeah baby come through me)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Move up with in your clan by either being of service, Putting out or stabbing someone in the back (being of service for a bootie call might make you rise faster)
2) Become a prostitute, a seer, or a drunk.
3) Kill a noob
4) Ring a random phone number and have phone sex (probably bet not to ring 911 or 000 depending on what county you’re in)
PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
You will sometime during the next month end up in a Wax museum. Be it for a tour or just a kinky place to have sex. You will find a home away from home. Murderers, Zombies Princess Di you name it even Elvis. Accept this is now part of your make up. Oh by the way no smoking. But remember like wax fruit on humans tables don’t bite the statues they taste like wax (So says someone who has already tried I bet).
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Take a chance be it biting or on love there are few things better than either
2) If you chose love from the above list Romance is always good. Unless your idea of romance is hit them over the head with 2 X 4. Try candles ambiance is the answer (fuck ambiance and candles, unless it’s to drip hot wax on to them hmmm hot wax)
3) Be adventuress try the new synthetic blood take the pledge of none biting (hang on a sec lets go back one what’s wrong with a bit of 2 X 4, I have had a lot of good nights start out that way well as long as I was the one wielding it hehe)
4) Be nice to an enemy give them a flower
ARIES (March 21- April 19)
I have been having a lot of those lazy days I cant even walk to my coffin and stayed up during the day and have been captivated b daytime TV its an insidious plan I tell you. So for the 31 days of July you will be in your own soap opera. So watch out as in all TV soaps you will eventual and up having married your father , secretly kissed your mother on the lips danced the horizontal fandango with your sister or died and been bought back with someone’s else’s name and face good luck with that
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Laze around and do nothing
2) Get nakid with someone you have a crush on.(Yeah some of you call that courting I know)
3) Dress up as a gingerbread house (someone’s bound to want to eat you then not that your ugly far from it)
4) Take a night course at open college I have heard flower arranging is fun
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Darlin' Taurus, your world is about to become a horror story. Not only do i see death mayhem and destruction and a lot of blood it will all be within your pants starting mid-July you won’t have time to scratch little only flirt or screw around, so while you can get busy cause after that you’re screwed. The only way to get out from under is to take up a new superstition. For example, each time someone tries to stab you with an ice pick or stake or crossbow bolt, knock once on wood and then dump dog poop on their shoes (I have got some wood for you hehehe).
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Take swimming lessons
2) Get yourself to the local S&M underground party and get naughty (I know some of you would rather a M&M party and if you would prefer that just don’t stick them up your nose)
3) Try chocolate cause on everything you eat
4) No I mean it try chocolate on everything you eat
GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
Summer is here. It’s time to check over your inventory make a list of your needs and wants, take some time do a good job it while working on it expand it to encompass who or what is currently dragging you down, and keeping you burned, blistered(hmm holy water). On July 16 strike terror in them and smash them all. End of the month you will have a cash win fall so enjoy (you can buy me a beer or buy our Taurus friends some chocolate who knows you might get lucky)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Learn to use sign language (and no sticking two fingers up in the air is not the official sign language even if it does relay the right feelings)
2) Lear to dance like on those TV shows (even better learn to lap dance)
3) Be creative learn decoupage (fuck I hate the French fucking language croissant baguette fuck them)
4) Get sexed (no don’t go to a vet for a check up sheesh well unless they are cute
CANCER (June 22 - July 22)
Cancerians you are tired do go find a warm bed does not have to be yours probably better to be a friend rather than an enemies and sleep. Over the past few months you have lost so much be it weapons or blood or innocents it’s still lost, some have lost faith in the City and in your selves. Don’t fear after the rest and the 16th you will be up to your normal tricks and capers. Planning the death of others and dancing on graves. The stars say the months ahead will finally let you be free of all the things that have dragged you down. Saturn is finally exiting on July 16 and GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Wear funny coloured stripy toe socks to bed
2) Fill a hot water bottle with human blood and snuggle
3) Sex in public places is good (not by yourself dip shit that’s just sad)
4) Buy some one candy and exchange the chocolate for laxetts give the real chocolates to a Taurus I’m sure they will appreciate it you might get lucky (or just use a bit of 2 X 4 hahaha)
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Have you ever been stuck behind one of those Driver's Ed class cars never sure if you want to overtake or not or just too scared to. That’s how your month is going to turn out in second gear doing 20 miles an hour. Not only in your night to night things but everything romance (2 X 4 hehe) coins (ohh 2 X 4 hehe got to love its uses not only a sex toy but you can steal too) advancement in your clan or profession (oh baby let me say 2 X 4 again ahha) The only way out is to put your foot to the floor balls to the wall and make that drivers Ed kid shit, Leo, when you'll be forced to have patience fuck it kill them road rage rocks.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Wear a nappy to a war conference and ask someone to change you
2) Make a wish upon a star then take the wishing star fairy hostage till she gives it to you (what about the wish do we get that too)
3) Become a lecherous ohh to late
4) Learn to kiss better not hat horrid slobbery kissing where you trying to eat their faces well unless that’s what your trying to do (ok Hannibal get down)
VIRGO (August 23 - Sept. 22)
Kin Hubbard once said that "the only way to entertain some people is to listen to them." Whereas old mother Hubbard said “the cupboard was bare so rover gave her a bone of his own” ops did I say that. Just like old mother Hubbard your war chest and weapons cupboard are bare this month (hehe watch out for rover ok). Your first impulse should be steal bite steal (should i say 2 X 4 here do you think hehe) Never turn a deaf ear to an opportunity be it coins blood position sex, the one you knock back is the one you never get or so I have been told. Listen to gossip its surly to be juicy, so listen up, Virgo. With both ears ( or let them grab you by the ears ohh baby). It could mean a chocolate party with you know who.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Insure your ears pulling them might hurt without ears you can’t see as your hat will fall over your eyes
2) Go out and buy a new suit, outfit or handbag you know you want to.
3) Try a night in drag you never know you might like it (hmm tight panties ohh now your talking lace sighs stockings damn i need a cold shower)
4) Learn to juggle
LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
You are in need of nourishment... not the meat-and-potatoes kind, but a real meal of blood glorious blood nothing quite like it to make me dance (hmm makes me hard in all the right places dontcha know ohh yes makes my teeth hard and fingernails hard fangs .......you dirty minded vamps did you think it was just Mr Floppy that becomes like a thing of steel with blood).So you’re looking a little peeky get out bite someone bite anyone just fucken bite.
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Try boxers for a change (yes you girls too hmm nothing I like better than a girl in boxers hmm yum)
2) Yoga (enough said)
3) Lion taming I’m sure you know a few Leos that need a good mistress or master growllllll hehe
4) Volunteer work nothing makes a vampire feel better than volunteering at a blood bank (makes me all gooey inside thinking about it hehe)
SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
Um, hi. How you doing? Good I hope. I think it would be best to take a photo right now while you’re on top of the world, cause well July is just a shitty month for you. Well aside from all the sex you could want everything else will be crap. (oh yeah all that sex is either in jail I’m guessing it’s not really all the sex you desire haha or its wet dreams and sticky sheets oh wait that happens in jail too). Good news is that come August you will be the top dog in Jail and you will get all the sex you want( didn’t you just say that)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Buy a rubber inflatable ring (errr jail ouch)
2) If you’re a male write your name in the snow if you’re a female do it in Morse code and those guys with prostate issues you can use Morse code too dot dot dash dash
3) Buy a gun
4) Set fire to someone’s hair (no stupid not yours .........no not mine for fucks sake)
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
Some Vampires the cloths make the vampire or vampiress others the vampiress or vampire makes the cloths. You are the later of the two types, you could make wearing hessian sacks look good. About the only think you cant pull off is one of those loud Hawaiian shirts that have scenes featuring surfboards, coconut trees and pineapples (yes I looked in your wardrobe and well it scared me) So i say to you go forth and get rid of those Hawaiian shirts and get the classics back on black or black purple you know the colours by now the hawt dark brooding ones. (no there is no fucken casual fucking Hawaiian shit vampire fucken day you pussy)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Dance like no ones watching
2) Drink like no one cares (you got that down already i see)
3) Make love to the one your with if the one you love does not want to know you (hehe 2 X 4 i tell you it works every time)
4) Lick yellow snow
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
This month you will be an emotional wreck and a physical one. Too much sex and to much moonshine will make you go weak at the knees. Especially if you have hijacked a truck full of chocolate and know a Taurus. About the only thing i can advise stock up the old fuel tank with blood and get lip balm It really helps really it does then you can be doing whatever it is your heart desires as long as you desire (note make sure its lip balm and not tiger balm this i can assure you off you will never see him or her again if you mix them up)
Just for fun this month we are giving you a list if you manage to complete the list there will be a prize
1) Go to the Ghetto and pick a fight with a chat vampire
2) Dial pizza hut for a pizza and eat the delivery guy or girl (ok people keep it clean)
3) Learn to sing like tiny Tim and use a ukulele its for serious music loves
4) run up to an enemy in the city and splash them with a vial of distilled water and pretend they are burning
Sade St. John (shadowsshade)
Ward of the Wolf Etain
A little T in my life is good
The Republic
Traveller
Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero pulsanda tellus[/glow]
